Sunday, June 24, 2018

2018 Poems


Star Pine Tree, Santa Barbara






The Santa Barbara Poem for the Death of my Father: A Rough Villanelle

The fog horn is sounding
morning, morning, a star pine is calling
and white crest waves ever mounding

The side-shift drift of palm tree debris
and the remnants of a transient’s bed falling
frame a steel park bench amid leafy comfrey

It was the low clouding
upon a cliffside of ice plant petals recalling
and echoes of a street-side electric guitar sounding

It was the distal pounding
tidal recall of sea grains, sea-sawing;
my father’s heart un-founding

once spired high, now scree
cacophony, a murder of magpies flee
but for the cry of one magpie foundling

morning, morning, a star pine is calling
The fog horn is sounding.




Moonfire

in first hours, embers before outright flames;
watery umber, like bread crumbs they drop-
lets on a window tints my accumulation,

Loch: a silicon cupola
            of darkened
            liquid shadow
 once slid through my organs
 my veins:
 my toilet drinks their
ends.

 People tell me this color
 clashes with everything;
 the mere sight of it could make a grown person lose
 pressure, their own

 and at the rebirth of a cycle—
 it looks as lovely to me as a drop of oil
rouge spreading through the ivory blank
canvas.

cream porcelain tendrils of goth vermillion
—I can only upvote with poetry or
                                                a flow unfettered by contraception
                                                conduced by 
                                                my homosexual agenda.

filtered by my liver
warm-pressed by hyperkinesis
of my uterus; I seep sanguine, I fruit seedless
Juice of
eons of shame, root of that
witch is the least regarded:

Searing orange forest fires have better reputations
            than soaked bleached rotten
cotton crammed
inside a flesh crevice
            than that hue of (a singular) passion,
a lightning streak
of clay brick, of wine;
a river too thick
to swash only swills,
descends thighs
thru water, I watch it curlcrawl
dying everything in its path,
Moonfire.


Friday, January 19, 2018

Nietzsche's Intellectual Conscience, do you dig it?

Originally published on this blog 1/19/14

Oh Nietzsche, I love it when you talk dirty to me.
Which is why I am somehow able to read this crazy shit. Despite Nietzsche's vehement hate for women which he minces no words in expressing throughout all his books, I can't get enough. At least Like Plato, he thought there are some humans which are meant to be slaves, and some that are not (white men). Luckily, dude died of syphilis more than a hundred years ago, and some of his ideas could even be likened to Buddhist philosophies now.
So here we are, one of my favorites from "The Gay Science."

I keep having the same experience and keep resisting it every time. I do not want to believe it although it is palpable: the great majority of people lacks an intellectual conscience. Indeed, it has often seemed to me as if anyone calling for an intellectual conscience were as lonely in the most densely populated cities as if he were in a desert. Everybody looks at you with strange eyes and goes right on handling his scales, calling this good and that evil. Nobody even blushes when you intimate that their weights are underweight; nor do people feel outraged; they merely laugh at your doubts. I mean: the great majority of people does not consider it contemptible to believe this or that and to live accordingly, without first having given themselves an account of the final and most certain reasons pro and con, and without even troubling themselves about such reasons afterward: the most gifted men and the noblest women still belong to this "great majority." But what is goodheartedness, refinement, or genius to me, when the person who has these virtues tolerates slack feelings in his faith and judgments and when he does not account the desire for certainty as his inmost craving and deepest distress—as that which separates the higher human beings from the lower.

Among some pious people I found a hatred of reason and was well disposed to them for that; for this at least betrayed their bad intellectual conscience. But to stand in the midst of this rerum concordia discors [discordant concord of things] and of this whole marvelous uncertainty and rich ambiguity of existence without questioning, without trembling with the craving and the rapture of such questioning, without at least hating the person who questions, perhaps even finding him faintly amusing—that is what I feel to be contemptible, and this is the feeling for which I look first in everybody. Some folly keeps persuading me that every human being has this feeling, simply because he is human. This is my type of injustice.


I suppose this resonates with me at the moment. It is as if the world has always been and will be exactly as it is; can you not see the seams and stitches that bind each little thing to it's present state? Nothing is unchangeable.
I find a real lack of intellectual conscience in the world in general right now. Neoliberalim (read: capitalism) has wiped the shelf of both the subjective and honest and the rigorous and contemplative endeavors in life.


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Dostoyevsky's "The Brother's Karamazov"

Originally published on this blog in 2013

What a cute little Russian mystery novel this is, and as one of my absolute favorite books, it is imperative I have quote from it.
As per usual with Russian lit. this is a cheery lighthearted novel in which some people die, go insane, and overall endure the wonderful Russian life providence bestowed upon them (to borrow a line from Tocqueville).

So this particular quote I memorized for a time because I thought it would be good to recite at parties, but I've forgotten it since, probably because I never found an appropriate party. This is a quote from the Elder Priest, Father Zosima of the monastery where Alosha is becoming a monk. He is speaking to Alosha's father Fyodor Pavlovich Karamazov who owns several taverns in the village and stays drunk quite a bit.

"And close your taverns. If you can't close all, at least two or three. And above all, don't lie."
"You mean about Diderot?"
"No, not about Diderot. Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and others. And having  no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself he gives way to coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and himself. The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended that anyone. You know it is sometimes very pleasant to take offense, isn't it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, and lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught a word and make a mountain out of a molehill--he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it, an so pass to genuine vindictiveness. But get up, sit down, I beg you. All this, too, is deceitful posturing..."


So there it is. Lying to oneself leads to bestiality.

Coming soon: A quote from someone other than old dead white guys. I don't know who it will be yet, as I pretty much stick to dead white guys because it is they societies throughout history have set aside enough leisure time to write philosophy and novels. I'm kind of getting into sonnets and different sorts of stanza's, so that may be next.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Four Poems from 2016

Hey I wrote more poetry! (I don't really ever stop). This year I have been trying on more formal styles and rhythm. I probably stayed away from rhymes for so long because of the trope that poetry must rhyme--and let's face it, it's kind of out of vogue. But rhythm will never be out of vogue! and rhyme teaches some basic meters for it. While I do have a poem in an older post about the Orlando shooting, I have not written about anything political since and I'm not sure I will. I feel myself withdrawing a bit from that realm. I miss philosophy and in missing it I am loathe to turn my mind to the concrete things of what twit tweeted and shit oil all over ND. 


Our Boulder effigy for peeps who didn't journey to the illustrious BRC this year.  
“Alzheimer’s"

Morbid, it may be 
to appreciate this kind of atrocity
praise the methodical undoing
that is an individual’s slow entombing

The mechanism is not known
of how a brain cell can atone
I have witnessed their minds unravel 
I have seen their how their memories travel
the once busy boulevard
of dinner routines 
now unpottty-training in
post dinner latrines 

We deliver an adoring smile 
to all the drooling germ infested children
but detest and ignore our adult infantile
leave them to wander locked halls, human pins

Have you ever spoke
to someone in a dream
while you yourself remained woke?
It would make you doubt things are as they seem

There is something to that plaque
that separates it from a mere plague
of general dementia, of any malaise vague
a progressive regress, a systematic attack.

This disease unmakes a man
like a maid unmakes a bed
and when the mattress is finally bare 
there’s nothing left there.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“The Gardener”

She came by Piety
at a thrift store.

She was looking for something,
anything,
really;
row after row
of shelves
but all that junk,
with their forlorn miens
pre-owned
by the shadows 
they cast

As she passed through the isle of decor 
a figurine of a plump cherub 
woke from his tepid slumber on a yellow cloud
and putting down his golden harp, reached for her
sang her given name
  but not her true name
Cloyed, she stepped away
turned
wandered towards the back

too awkward to fit on any shelf,
an old sturdy spade
leaned up against the back wall
forgotten there by a long gone employee

A solid handle,
cleaned of old earth, 
and straight edged
but for a couple dings
she had to hammer out

She took her home
She digs now.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“Before God”

Before gods’ honey,
batches of empty darkness
teethed invisibly in the shade

I say—
This is how we were (deliriously) made.

That Absence
 a Fertile dark heaping
 points 
to Her.

Diachronically outsourced 
divinity

From Pan to poly
From trinity to binary
from monotheistic infinities
to zero-sum game theory

Before those gods
Of ego and shame
There was love

Before Love
there were not one
fool
to sing 
a hymn upon a Marionette’s string
-----------------------------------------------------------
“Consumerism Consumes”

Not all the words of love and light 
could mute the Warriors song or dance
designed
 to persuade lovers or foes upon a glance:

Were purity a goat
And fright, a lamb
We'd call love, rubbish
and get on with our soft clams

Do not be fueled
by the flight of a white dove
If you are not fooled
by the plight of seekers
of not a spiritual trove
but materialist tinkers

We manifest nothing
when the sake is sour
capital, you know
begets false power

The keepers
of their houses
will tell you the truth:
higher square footage
lowers the ruth.

Sidewalks are inflexible
grainy with a bite
and yet I’d rather be kissing one


than rolling in spite.
-----------------------------------------------------------

“Thou Shall Eat Bugs”

when we are dying
after a long life
when the skin is not taut
all eumelanin gone from the hair,
the hair
gone from our
shallowed flesh corners

you will not care
if you ate bugs or not
when you were younger.

you will not ponder
on any decision
from yesterday
or today
or next week

you might not even remember 
if you had any children
or if they died
or who you married

You won’t remember
being insulted
at work
or why

but your body will remember
if you had enough protein

and your psyche will know
if you spoke to God
and She spoke back
enough
to say Her words
again:

“Eat bugs, they are for eating.”

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Re-Selecting the Poems of Mary Oliver . (Originally published on this blog in 2013)






Today I stood in the Poetry section of Boulder Bookstore, closed my eyes, and randomly selected a book from which I randomly selected a page. The book was The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver and the poems were magnificent. She seems to be still alive.
I bought the book; it was even used! I've had good luck with selecting poetry books this way, I've tried a more orderly approach (i.e. only select female poets, or only Ann Sexton,  or whichever title is the catchest; but I am always disappointed).
 The poem I read first was "Two Kinds of Deliverance." The title alone piqued my interest, the poem was appropriately about Spring:




1

Last night the geese came back,
slanting fast
from the blossom of the rising moon down
to the black pond. A muskrat
swimming in the twilight saw them and hurried

to the secret lodges to tell everyone
spring had come.

And so it had.
By morning when I went out
the last of the ice had disappeared, blackbirds
sang on the shores. Every year
the geese, returning,
do this, I don’t
know how.


2

The curtains opened and there was
an old man in a headdress of feathers,
leather leggings and a vest made
from the skin of some animal. He danced

in a kind of surly rapture, and the trees
in the fields far away
began to mutter and suck up their long roots.
Slowly they advanced until they stood
pressed to the schoolhouse windows.


3

I don’t know
lots of things but I know this: next year
when spring
flows over the starting point I’ll think I’m going to
drown in the shimmering miles of it and then
one or two birds will fly me over
the threshold.

As for the pain
of others, of course it tries to be
abstract, but then

there flares up out of a vanished wilderness, like fire,
still blistering: the wrinkled face
of an old Chippewa
smiling, hating us,
dancing for his life.

There is another poem titled "When Death Comes." I suppose it is everyone else's favorite as well, since it wasn't hard to find in full here.




When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering;
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

I LOVE this poem. I am, however, not particularly curious about death. I don't really think anything unexpected will happen, aside from awestricken-ness of the eternal silence in that "cottage of darkness." I love how she thinks about time and eternality; I have written similar things, but much less eloquently.

Just for good measure, I will include another new favorite from Oliver, "Lightening":
The oaks shone
gaunt gold
on the lip
of the storm before
the wind rose,
the shapeless mouth
opened and began
its five-hour howl;
the lights
went out fast, branches
sidled over
the pitch of the roof, bounced
into the year
that grew black
within minutes, except
for the lightening - the landscape
bulging forth like a quick
lesson in creating, then
thudding away. Inside,
as always,
it was hard to tell
fear from excitement:
how sensual
the lightning’s
poured stroke! and still,
what a fire and a risk!
As always the body
wants to hide,
wants to flow toward it - strives
to balance while
fear shouts,
excitement shouts, back
and forth - each
bolt a burning river
tearing like escape through the dark

field of the other. 
UHH
  I won't say what it reminds me of, but I will say it's great she wrote this and that I have read it, so now I will not attempt to write some dribble trying to express the same sentiments.
There's one more of course, I like it for the personification of Lilies and their relationship to hummingbirds. Particularly "if I were a Lily/ I think I would wait all day / for the green face/ of the hummingbird/ to touch me."

Romanic, I guess.
Hmmmm.

Actually instead of quoting that one (you can read it here), There is Another.




Sunrise

You can
die for it --
an idea,
or the world. People

have done so,
brilliantly,
letting
their small bodies be bound

to the stake,
creating
an unforgettable
fury of light. But

this morning,
climbing the familiar hills
in the familiar
fabric of dawn, I thought

of China,
and India
and Europe, and I thought
how the sun

blazes
for everyone just
so joyfully
as it rises

under the lashes
of my own eyes, and I thought
I am so many!
What is my name?

What is the name
of the deep breath I would take
over and over
for all of us? Call it

whatever you want, it is
happiness, it is another one
of the ways to enter
fire.

I could just quote the entire book.